Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
