she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
