i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
