just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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