this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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