Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
