you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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