Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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