FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There r osticjed everywhere
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
