2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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