She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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