I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
