my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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