that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
