so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
