is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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