names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
