i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
