I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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