Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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