tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
