she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
