oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
