the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
