Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
