so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
