its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
