Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
