Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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