I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
