you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
