Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
