I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
