On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
