I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
