brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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