He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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