So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
