the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
