I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
