Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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