Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
