So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
