in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
