this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
