get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have fence marks all over my body
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
