HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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