Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
