Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
