Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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